Let the Table Get Messy.

Sometimes I wish I had a time machine I could hop into just to see what the next 3-6 months hold for me. Since that's not an option, I decided to seek out what I saw as the next best thing: a psychic. I know there will be plenty of naysayers and skeptics out there--and I feel you--but I went into the whole thing with an open mind and suspended my doubt just to see what the experience would be like. And without seeming like I drank the Kool-Aid, wandered out into the ether, or gone off the deep end, I want to say that it was an interesting and illuminating experience.

No crystal balls. No fancy turbans à la Zoltar (though I would have been a fan of that). No tarot cards. I didn't have any "tells"--all I provided was my name and birthdate. There were some things that didn't register but there was a lot more that resonated immediately. I'm not going to concern myself with the how or assume that my life will unfold according to my reading. But you have to admit that getting a glimpse of your future, however skeptical you may be, has to appeal to a certain extent.

Here's a little portion of my reading. It's almost as if the psychic took a peek inside my brain and captured all my hopes and fears:

There's so many different ways that if you wanted to be self-employed, a lot of different things, hobbies that can becomes businesses--but--you have to charge for your time. Do things that come from your heart. Have confidence that you'll be able to do it. Revise your sense of security. Once you get out there with your work, what you can do for people--they'll be no shortage of work. There's money there.

Then she says this:

Here's another thing about you, you always have the idea of giving back. It's not just like you make money just so that you can live or survive. I feel like you're always going to add to other people's lives.

...eerily accurate.

And then:

I would really strongly suggest to you, you're real smart when it comes to the numbers and the creativity, the part that I would really, really love for you to do is before you go to sleep at night think about that you'd like to remember your dreams. I'd love for you to get a journal and write your dreams down and working with them if you can. I'd love for you to do that. I just feel that it will help you stimulate your creativity. It'll help you understand how your creative, intuitive mind works. I just feel if you just open that part of your brain that thinks outside of the logic, if you build that part of your brain the divine ideas that you need for your work, you'll be open to them. Open that part of your brain and working with your dreams, let them guide you too. To be honest with you, I feel like you could be so successful. You have a really good work ethic, and you have integrity. And you have the passion for it.

Logic has always prevailed for me. I've abandoned many a creative pursuit simply because I'm too focused on the minutiae of daily life, calculating every step, factoring in every possibility for the most mundane issues. Given the choice of security or possibility, I've chosen security every time.

Recently I made a concerted effort to do something new, something as a creative outlet. Of the many options, I decided to take up sewing. Like two weeks ago. Seriously. So it was particularly peculiar when the psychic said:

Did you recently take up something involved with stitching...or sewing?

With sewing or this stitching sometimes you'll think, "I don't know why I'm doing this." But I feel you were led to that--because it's opening up your brain. When you learn a new language, there's a chemical pathway that's laid down in your brain. With these different things you're doing it's opening you up to your creativity.

Then she says this, taking the spooky factor to the MAX:

Can I also tell you...I want you to know this--really think about this: Don't be afraid to make a mess on your table. Okay. Okay? You need to know that, if your going into this new thing you gotta take a risk like that. If the dining table is a mess, it doesn't matter. It's part of the creativity of what you're doing. Art is not organized. Let it go.

The last time I sat down to sew, my frustration level was getting off the charts. My needle broke for the second time, the thread kept snapping, there was a mess EVERYWHERE. I hate messes. I hate clutter. I hate when things don't work out. I got up and walked away to cool down for a moment intending to come back. Then I thought, "Screw it. I'm not doing this." I went back into my kitchen--to the dining table to clean up. "No point in leaving this mess here," I thought to myself. I'll be the first to admit I'm a neat freak--I like order. Hell, I like the dishwashing soap turned a certain way so that label is faced just right.

It's not as if the psychic told me anything that surprised me. If anything she gave just a shot of courage to keep traveling on the path I'm already on--to move in the direction of my dreams. Succeed or fail, that's exactly what I'm going to do.

So what now?

Now I'm going to let the table get messy.

Go and do something that scares you,